Old Lady

I had my eye appointment today with my new eye doctor.

She called me a "youngster" even though she had just seen my husband. Hmm, she did call him cute instead of handsome, dashing, rugged or manly. (All adjectives I would use to describe him)

Still... youngster?? I'll show her!

What did she find when she looked into my little ol' left eye?

"Hmm... Looks like you have a cataract."

Wait!!! CATARACT!! But I'm only 24?!?

"Well let's take a look at the other eye.... hmm.. I'll be darn. You have one in each eye! Little tiny snowballs. Perfect mirror images of each other. Well, I've never seen anything like it!"

Well aren't I just special....

"The only thing I can think is that they're congenital, meaning you've had them since you developed as a fetus. And clearly you're not having a hard time seeing through them. But we'll just watch them and see if they start thickening or growing. Right now they're about this big, 3 mil..." as she shows me on a ruler that I cannot see at all because of my stupid dilated eyes.

Gee thanks. I feel sooo much better.

... it gets better...

"Now let me check your eyes again now that they're dilated.... Just as I suspected. It looks as though you're far sighted (as I already knew) and near sighted. Hon, the best solution to your current condition is bifocals."

No. Nope. No way no how.

"And I just can't stand putting you in bifocals right away so I think we'll try a different prescription to see if we can retrain your eyes and avoid bifocals for the time being. But we'll probably end up there sooner than later."

Seriously?! Shoot me now.

Am I turning 25 or 95 this year?!?!